Or maybe it is forgetful.
It can be a side effect of opening yourself and raising your vibration when you are developing your intuitive abilities. I have been doing my best to figure out how to deal with it. I have always been a great 'organizer' however lately I have been a bit unorganized and scattered. Or at least I feel as if I am not doing what I need to do to 'develop' my intuitive skills. As with anything new repetition is the key. Meditating EVERY day to get in the 'habit' is hard. Writing in my journal EVERY day is difficult because some days I do not know what to write. Often I record my dreams as I am a vivid dreamer, occasionally I write down meditations and messages I get from my tarot cards and rarely I write down random synchronicities or messages I notice during the day. As with everything I started out trying really hard to meditate every day. Slowly over the weeks I went to 5, 4, 3, 2 days a week. I am going to say it is because our house is so small and noise bothers me and makes it hard to meditate so I get frustrated. However I think perhaps it is the fact that I am not sure what I am gaining by meditating every day. I think I should be getting insight and messages from my spirit guides and guardian angels however I do not always get anything. In thinking about it I think that is what I am supposed to achieve in meditating, nothingness. If that is the case I am doing fabulous at it. I know I want a 'mentor' to help me stay on track and encourage me with my development, kind of like the Jenny Craig mentor you see every week that tells you 'you are doing fabulous keep up the good work' and to give me helpful advice on how to proceed. I have put out the intention for this mentor to come into my life and I am sure in time they will come. Patience little sprout patience.
I want the change and learning to be quicker than it is sometimes. The even road where you stay the same is kind of like the plateau when you are on a diet, discouraging. I know that my guides are with me at all times, guiding me and supporting me. I am not going to have great epiphanies every day, some days will just be........ boring, as my guides gently steer me in the right direction. Good thing they are patient, forgiving, understanding and kind because somedays I can frustrate even myself with my willy nilly misdirection.
I do know that I am working on my intuitive self daily. Everyday I make a conscious effort to be aware of how my ego is encouraging me to be, offended, or mean, or upset, or angry. Everyday I gently push my ego back and sooth it telling it, 'it is okay I got this I do not need to be mean, rude, angry or upset. I do not need to worry and fear the future it is not here yet.' I am slowly making tiny forward movements in the taming of my volatile ego. Every teeny tiny step is progress. Everyday I do my affirmations and make a conscious effort to be a beautiful loving being inside and out. This is the best thing I can do for myself, learning, meditations, dream analyzation, crystal use aside. Because without the taming of my volatile ego the expansion of my true spiritual self would not be possible at all.
Affirmation for the day:
Today I am going to enjoy the forward movement of my life moment by moment. I am going to gently guide my poor scared ego back into the quiet room of my mind. I am going to enjoying the forward movements of learning to love myself and my life!
One thing it is good to remember is that most days we do not see the grand scheme for our lives we just need to trust and love ourselves and know we are in the place we need to be now at this moment of our life.
Love and Light